The science behind why your dog loves your partner more than you

Bipsha,28,from South West London,with her beagle Rolls and spare human Conor (Picture: Matt Crossick/ Butternut Box)

Millions of Brits have long suspected that their dog loves their partner more than them – and now there’s the evidence to prove it. 

An astonishing 56 per cent of owners said they rank second best in their animal’s affections – even if they are the primary source of food and care.

The situation can also cause domestic drama with one in five arguing with their partner about who their pet truly favours,according to the research by fresh dog food subscription service Butternut Box.

Canine expert Caroline Clark said the condition is not rooted in pets being ungrateful,but rather Spare Human Syndrome (SHS) – a fixable condition that can be changed by behavioural science.

‘Whether a dog has a favourite human is not imagined. It is learned,reinforced and,in many cases,entirely fixable,’ she said. ‘The problem is that most sufferers are going about recovery the wrong way.’

Jasper with favourite human Esther and spare human Ley (Picture: Butternut Box)

The worst sufferers appear to be men,with 60 per cent feeling like the spare compared to 56 per cent of women. 

They’re also more likely to try bribery to fix the problem with nearly a quarter spending up to £100 in an attempt to buy their dog’s affection and one in ten splurging up to £200. 

But both men and women are frequently left baffled by their pets’ preferences. 

Bipsha Pradha,and her beagle Rolls know the dynamic well.

‘My dog,Rolls,chose me from day one and ten years on,I’m still very much the favourite human,’ she said. ‘The favourite and spare hierarchy in our house is pretty well established,and I’m not mad about it.’

Sean’s tried everything to get Bo the poodle to choose him over Julia (Picture: Butternut Box)

Sean Weber,37,from East London,is a self-confessed spare human who has tried everything with poodle Bo. 

He said: ‘No matter what I do,our dog will not choose me over my partner. I’ve tried feeding him,playing with him more and spending more time with him. And yet,when we come home,Bo runs straight past me every time.’

Caroline worked with Butternut Box to investigate what actually drives a dog’s preference for one person over another,and the results suggest owners are fundamentally misreading their pet’s signals. 

Rather than recognising the behavioural cues that build genuine canine attachment,SHS sufferers sometimes try to spoil their dogs with gestures – without tackling the underlying reasons.

According to Caroline,the answer can be simple; meeting the animals’ needs in a way they associate with pleasure. The most basic of these requirements is always food. 

She said: ‘Canine behaviour is not too dissimilar to that of humans,and their relationship to food is just like ours. Eating is an emotive experience,and our psychology attaches feelings to the sensory stimulant.

Buddy seems to prefer Hamish over Rachael (Picture: Butternut Box)

‘For dogs,food naturally stimulates the release of oxytocin,commonly known as the love hormone,helping the body relax and process nutrients. Dogs will associate the individual with the good feeling food brings.’

In particular,fresh food over dry treats can be a key to building a good bond.

‘If the food you are serving every day is ultra-processed and unremarkable,that moment of joy simply isn’t there,’ Caroline added. ‘Improve the experience of mealtimes,and you improve the association your dog has with the person providing them.’

Leeneshwari Makhijani,Managing Director at Butternut Box said ensuring fresh food is available offers a way to solve SHS.

‘Nobody wants to feel second best in their own home,especially when it comes to their dog,’ she said. 

‘The data shows that feeding is not enough on its own. Just like a human,if a dog is being served the same ultra-processed food every single day,it’s unlikely to be a joyous moment for them.

‘A dog that genuinely looks forward to mealtimes is a dog that associates that excitement with the person holding the bowl. Fresh food that smells incredible and tastes even better might just be the thing that gets you to the top spot.’

The telltale signs that you're a victim of Spare Human Syndrome

1. You’ve spent a small fortune on toys and presents,and none of it has worked: when owners feel their dog doesn’t favour them,the instinct is to reach for toys or novelty to try to shift that dynamic. When one thing doesn’t work,they try the next. It’s understandable,but it’s addressing the symptom rather than the cause,and dogs are very good at noticing the difference.2. You set your alarm earlier just to get some one-on-one time: setting an earlier alarm to secure time with the dog before a partner wakes is more common than people admit. The intention is right,building time and association,but without understanding what actually reinforces attachment in dogs,the early start rarely produces the result they’re hoping for.3. You’ve quietly given up your spot on the sofa: giving up a favourite seat tends to happen so incrementally that owners don’t realise it’s occurred until the new arrangement is already established. The dog has registered it,even if the owner hasn’t.4. You feel genuinely left out when the three of you are in the same room: when a dog consistently gravitates towards one person,the other will often feel it more than they expect to. That response is entirely normal,and it’s usually the clearest sign that the attachment dynamic needs attention.5. You keep trying to make eye contact with the dog,and they just… don’t: dogs use sustained eye contact to express trust and connection but,unless they take the lead,it can be a threatening gesture. So,if you’re watching your partner receive that and you can’t seem to get it yourself,that’s the dog communicating a preference,however tough that may be to learn.If you believe the way to your dog’s heart is through their stomach,visit butternutbox.com.